The Amityville Horror (2005) - The Mini-Review

Ugh. I shouldn't use that word in a written review, it is really just an exclamation, but it's what it was feeling when I was watching the 2005 remake of The Amityville Horror. I wasn't real impressed with the original, so I approached the remake with some optimism. A good sized budget with modern style and computer generated effects. What could be wrong with that? Turns out, a lot. Those things that should have been advantages were the main problem with the remake.

As before we see George and Kathy Lutz shopping for their dream home. They are hoping that finding the right home for their patchwork family will be the key to their happiness. That might have worked, but not with this house. There is something evil here and the family realizes it almost too late. Events unfold with much screaming and crying and we eventually see the family at wits end, ready to attack each other.

The family of the 2005 remake is subjected to similar progressing craziness as the family of the original, but the remake focuses more on the idea of a ghost of a murdered girl (Toby, the young girl that was murdered there a year before) as a plot point. We can't really tell what is going on from moment to moment. Is the girl's ghost harassing the family or is it the evil presence of the house? It seems like the evil house is driving the father crazy but the girl ghost is just being a prankster. Evil presences are cool and all, but how about giving us one to focus on?

This brings me to my main problem with this movie, the reliance on the special effects. The girl ghost, Toby, was a minor plot point in the original. Here she is one of the main evil elements and I feel like it was done for the sole purpose of providing more visual creepy moments on screen. More random moments of showing her hanging from nooses, covered in blood and general disturbing images. This makes the movie less about a ratcheting up of tension throughout the movie and more about visual gags to have the viewer jump at the right moments. The original had my things wrong with it, but it's lack of accesses to computers actually worked in it's favor.

This is a small gripe but it is more a problem with modern day moviemaking than anything else. Could we have MORE scenes of Ryan Reynolds with his shirt off? No, we probably couldn't, without it seeming silly. Hey, I respect all the working out he did around that time but it seemed obvious what they were doing there. And no topless scenes for all the guys? That's just unfair.

I try to find the best things in any of these movies but, to tell you the truth, I can't think of any right now for this movie. Save, possibly the performance of Chloe Moretz as Chelsea Lutz. Not an Oscar performance, but when child actors perform in an adequate way, it's impressive. Before I'm done, I can think of one nice thing about The Amityville Horror, it was a fairly brief 90 minutes. I thank you editor.